Monday Minute!

So glad I'm back to join in the fun!!

Monday Minute Time!

1. Who is your "what-if" person?

(What-if person being what if I married this person or am now in a relationship with "this" person)

I cant imagine being with anyone other than the man I have married. We have a long interesting story and although things in the current time are sketchy as the past almost 2 yrs have been more downs than ups, we have been together since 1997. I was 17. We married in 2005. He was my second real relationship. After all of this, Its hard to imagine the what if's cause I've learned that it will have not been any better necessairly with the next man, or an old flame or a crush. So I guess, I dont have a what if person... if that makes sense! lol




2. What is your nickname?

I have a few, depending on who you are in my life... and at what point in my life you met me!
Let me explain, I go by my middle name for the past 3 yrs now. Something that kinda happened once I moved to Sacramento. It was supposed to be my first name but my grandma said it was too close to my brothers name and people would confuse us o_O oooookay. So first LEGAL name is Sharifa. Its Swahili and means; Honorable and Noble. My middle name is Jasara meaning Pure at heart. So those who know me as Sharifa have nick names from Rif (thanks to "Cheech" from work, this is what  most call me at the J.O.B), Rifa (haha, i'm sure you can imagine the conotations along with this one!) Rif-dog ( which was what the husband typically calls me ) and for those who know me as Jasara... well Jay, Jazzie and Jaas have all come into play. And ofcourse, Mom by my kiddos. :)





3. If you could choose how you died, how would you like to die?

I used to cry at night because I didnt want my  mom to die. I didnt want to die. So back when I was 7 or 8, I decided, I didnt want to die, or have anyone die I want the world to end and me be with my family. I still feel the same today, especially with all the talk of End Times. But with my faith, death is no longer scary. I just know I dont want to suffer, be in pain, I especially dont want my boys or family to see me suffer. So if I have to choose peacefully, in my sleep.





4. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have picked?

 I grew up hating my name! No one could pronounce it, it was different, I got called names and it confused people even more because they could also never guess my nationality! But now, I love my name. Im happy my parents choose it.



5. Who were you named after or for what reason did your parents choose your name?

I was named from a book of African Names. My mom wanted something different, beautiful and with meaning. My brothers name was also choosed from the same book. His name is Jafari. My sister got a scandanavian name, named after a friend of my mom who had a daughter that same year. She reversed the names to Anika Krista.

ok, i so went beyond the original question! lol


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Ps. I'm off work today! WOOT WOOT!

Dream a little dream...

Nothing happens unless first we dream. - Carl Sandburg

I sit here watching in awe, DC Cupcakes on TLC and I can practically feel the joy and passion radiation through the TV and through me! How I wish that was me, in my own cute little bake shop, with my original cake recipes and my own designer boxes. *sigh*

Sometimes, I feel like all my ambition, passion, desire will only go as far as my dream. I sometimes wonder, what is it that they have, that I don't? What was the break they got, the "A-HA" moment that gave them the realization of "THAT is how I will make it happen". I wonder... When will it hit me?

I have come to a recent fascination with cupcakes, as I also want to expand my business to have an entire cupcake line. I want to buy a mobile food truck and sell fresh baked cupcakes out of it. I want a cute little shop on a corner with big windows and a second floor for my office and mini studio for nights I am pulling all nighters from big orders. I want a kitchen to cook in with 10 ovens where one side opens to the test kitchen and the other to the decorating kitchen.

I dream big. Yes. I want grand things. I want the best cakes, cupcakes, sculpted cakes. I want lines around the block, I want to be featured in Martha Stewart, Food and Wine, Saveur, Gourmet Magazine, and especially Bon Appetit :)

But even if I don't have the notoriety, the food network status, or the second floor office mini studio... I just want to do what I love with my own business. I want to bake, decorate, create.

Will my time come? Will my dream come true?

X's and O's

FINALLY, Ive started reading....

Eat, Pray, Love. Yes, I know. I'm so behind. While many are on The Help or Women, Food and God , Best Friends Forever and so on...

I officially started last night and read 34pages before forcing myself to go to sleep at 1130!

I have been glancing over at it  here at work on my desk waiting to finish these reports so in between calls I can read!!! I love a good addicting book!

I am still reading The Power of Now but it for me is more of a book of study. practice. learning. So I'll continue to dabble when I can and absorb truly the meaning Eckhart is relaying.

The next book, well along with the three I mentioned above, is A New Earth. Also, since its been a year since my most FAVORITE author has passed, I want to get the last two novels by E.Lynn  Harris. And the book written in his honor by 3 authors.

All this reading inspires me to write... I love to write. Poetry that is. I express myself through my words better than I can speaking them to you.

on another note... this is my Friday! I was actually supposed to be off today but my PTO decided I had to come in! lol

its OK, I'm saving up for our family trip to Chicago in October along with the time off I have for my birthday next month.

But tomorrow, is a special day... my middle son turns 11!!! Evan is eleven!! :) we are having a bowling party for him on Sunday!small, simple and sweet! I'll be starting his cake decorations tonight as Sunday, I am the assistant to my sister for her State Dental Hygiene Boards test! Not thrilled to sit for the entire day in SF with no car but hey, its all in the name of sisterly love right?!

So... back to reading!

ps. how many will see the movie, Eat Pray Love when it comes out?!?!


X's and O's

~Jasara

I despise the underwire!!!

Yes, under WIRE not WARE!
Who in the heck invented the under wire for a bra and why??

sorry for any fellas reading this but I have to vent! LOL

Am I the only one with the problem?? I see a cute bra. I'm in need of a new bra. What ever the case, I buy the new bra...

After one wash, out pokes the wire. I really try to avoid buying the wire kind just for this reason. And what do I do... tuck it back in of course. Why? idk, guess I think its really going to stay there...

5min after putting it on I notice
A. I have some new serious cleavage from the wires already half way out or B. I am painfully poked in my sternum. Seriously?? after a losing battle, I usually rip em out if I don't find em in the dryer.

am I the only one who experiences this??!!!

I'm thinking... this had to have been man made!

Happy Hump Day readers!!

X's and O's

~Jasara

Live your best life.

For a while now, I have been on a  mission. Actually, its been 4 years since this journey started. Four years ago, I didn't know what happiness was, I just knew I wanted it. That may not make sense to most. Don't get me wrong, I have experienced happiness. Different events in my life, that have held true happiness in my heart, but after 10 years, I realized, my whole life, I had been living for everyone else. Not self. Not that living for others is wrong because, I would give up all for my children. More so for family, friends, work... always feeling like I had to live up to be who they  thought I was or wanted me to be.

Funny, because over the past 4years, just when I think I know what happiness is to me, I learn its more than I know. I've now come to realize, happiness is a consistent thing one has to build on. Every few months through this journey, I find something new, experience something, read something that gives me that "Ah Ha" this is  even better than what I knew before!

I must admit, the PTSD class I took last year was my big "360" in my life. I was finally able to feel like, for once, I had control of my life. The chains were broken and I have not gone back since. Finding self, Loving self, prioritizing the most important things in my life and learning to say NO. Choosing who my real friends are, who are just acquaintances, balancing work and home, learning to run a business. PATIENCE! Even more than I have as a mother!

Another aspect, BALANCE. There is nothing like mentally cleaning house. Taking time for self, managing work, kids, home, friends, family. I found that I don't have to be everywhere doing everything! Although  the perfectionist side of me wants to, I learn to let go, say no, reschedule and make time for things I put off. Balance means choices. I have the choice to not answer my cell or even pick it up to check text messages. I  have the  choice to make a kid friendly quick dinner and not slave over the stove for 3 hrs after a long work day. I have the choice to come home and take an hour nap because I'm exhausted instead of pushing thru the evening. These things help create balance for me. I can finally say... "It's OK" .

Reducing stress, balance, patience, saying no to others more and yes to me, loving self, seeking God, surrounding myself with good people, working at achieving my dream, having inner peace and letting go of the past and the resentment... these things are enabling me to experience new levels of happiness. New experiences of joy rising. Living my best life.

Initially started the blog thinking I would document my journey through becoming a baker, pastry artist, cake designer... and now, I have no direction with it. Life sometimes has its own plans, its us that get in the way of the master plan of our life, tyring to override it and make our own way. Sometimes, Its best to stop trying to force life, and just live life.

X's and O's

Jasara

Vegas Pics!

Ok, another quick post!!! I have some pics! :)

rollin to the airport

3 hr airport delay thanks to the infamous SF fog

View from the room

The room

(cant find my bathroom palace pic but just imagine jet tub 3 ft deep, separate glass door standing shower, granite and marble floor, sink, sitting area, vanity area... a girls perfect bathroom vision!)

Got free drink vouchers at the Stripper Bar after the show...

pole posing!

me, animated :)

more stripper bar fun

in line at the V Theater at Planet Hollywood watching the mini water show

(stripper bar behind!!!)

Same pic, camera app fun on 2nd :)

Waiting at the Bellagio Pool Cafe for breakfast

A Fat tire Happy hour

buy one get one free... catch; you got em all at once!

Endive, apple and walnut salad at Serendipity

Totally missed out on the frozen hot chocolate and fried oreos

but, I got this!

*perks for eating at the bar:

ME:  is that a mojito your making??

'tender: Yup

ME: ooh, what kind is that one?

'tender: Blueberry Pomegranate, more on the sweeter side

ME: well , every mojito I've had was YUK!

'tender: That's cos no one really knows how to make em and if they do

they are simply too lazy to make em right...

*breaks into explanation as to why bartenders hate making them and purposely make em nasty*

'tender: I bet you I can make you a mojito fan

ME:  eeeeyyyyyy don't know.. I've had a few and I honestly hate em

'tender: (to boss) Shall I make a believer

BOSS: I don't know, I'm not a mojito fan either but hey what the heck.. maybe you  can

'tender: You game?

ME: *thinking FREE alcohol* heck yeah, bring it

as his mixes me up a strawberry mojito, he explains how to make it correctly

explains how the flavors emulsify...

as I prepare for the worst..

'tender: OK.. here you go... tell me what you think

ME: *sip, swirl, swallow*

ME: *sip, sip, sip*

ME: hawt damn! that is one delish mojito!!! Not one flavor is too overpowering

they hit perfectly on my palatte. YUMMMM!

BOSS: well??

ME: I am a believer. :)

BOSS: WOW!! im not convinced tho, Ill stick to my scotch.

'tender: see, what I tell you. haven't lost that challenge yet!

*'tender got BIG tip from me that day!!*

And that's all I can show you because... the rest, I'd have to kill you if you saw them!

lol as they say, what happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas!

ps. it is now 104am... see what I mean??!! no, see my previous post! :) GOOD NIGHT!

What a week

Vacation is such a wonderful thing! Relaxation, fun, depending on the season ... sun, traveling, laughing, smiles, good times, family, friends....

And yet, Vacation can be so cruel. Short. Ending when it seemed like it just started. Financially broken. Late nights. Sleeping in. Returning back to work.

lol , I have been back from my Vegas vacation for geeeeze, (had to really REALLY think about it) 3 weeks!!! (double checks calendar) yes... 3 weeks... and my sleep schedule is STILL off! As is my workout schedule and motivation to do anything really. Work? Psshhhh, I spend my morning B.S'in on text, FB, Yahoo, IM, coffee, gossip, zoning... lol man its so hard to recover from vacation!!!

But I am determined to get there. Its almost midnight, and Ive been telling myself for an hour now, Get to bed!!! Tired.. yes but not enough to crawl my butt under the sheets! I keep saying to self...Self, how are you going to get up at 6am to run, exactly?? You can barely get up to get ready for work!

I swear, there is some determination in there somewhere... i think its buried under the poolside memories, right next to the Panera Bread breakfast sammich.. mmm that bread was off the CHAIN! yum..
prob explains my weight plateau. Seems to climb up and hang there longer and longer before dropping back down ... *swears its just that time of month... everyday for the past 2 months* yeah.. that's it. YUP!

All jokes aside, I realize I do way to much in my daily life. Balance. Hard to obtain. Hard to maintain.

If I could get everything done everyday, I'd be one damn happy perfectionist camper! lol

Work a full time job, cook breakfast for the boys before work, cook dinner after work, bake and decorate cakes, BLOG, FB, tweet, Check in on my foursquare accurately, cake research, read up on running a small business, update my website, work on my logo, write poems, spend family time with the boys - movies, games, outdoor time, work out, run, culinary classes or school (part time of course!lol) , basketball games, football training camp, dance lessons,and clean(purposely left that for the end)

well.... *scratches head* I can sleep when I'm dead right?!

So yeah, balance. Realize, I cant do it all... I CAN pick days to do certain things and work it that way.
Honestly, I think I have ADD! lol makes sense tho, my oldest was diagnosed with ADHD. My dad always told me i should have been born with a second set of arms and hands because I always try to do too much.
My friends have fondly referred to me as "superwoman". Most heard comment about my life from those who know me " I don't know how you do it!"

Neither do I, I just - do.

:)

Next post, I'll have to tell you about my FIRST NY Yankee game!!! Wish I got pics tho :( phone has no flash on the cam and it was a night game. either way, GO YANKEES!

X's and O's

Jasara

my oh my!

how time does fly!

I have been so busy and frankly, avoiding social networks and outlets because i have just that much to do! i had to cut corners somewhere and my poor blog, you have suffered. But I felt compelled to visit as today has been an off day at work with computer problems and end of the week laziness all together!

So much to update.. but lets just keep it simple. took 6weeks off from cake decorating and orders. Was completely burnt. Got refreshed and felt good to not have the pressure i put on myself, in a small apartment, with limited time, money and necessities to perform to the level I desire.

Went to Vegas for almost a week which was FAB! Stayed at the Bellagio! LOVED it! Wish i was there now! lol

Spending more family time. Basketball games and family outings  has been great!

started cakes back up again 2 weeks ago and so far, got screwed on one! I am hoping this is not the trend because that will require me to force change on my ordering policies and i don't want to be a grouchy business woman!

Updating the website slowly but surly and I'm loving how its all coming together! Taking the time to educate self of website rules! Color palettes and have the help of a great friend who has also guided me through with advice and ideas!

Chicago is not happening... at least for now. Cant find a job.  What else is new for this economy tho!
I'm trying to stay positive and am looking into taking a few local classes once i get back on mental track with handling cake orders and managing a full time job and family. I tell ya the break was NICE! lol

ummmmm Oh i started P90x and love  it tho i have slacked since getting some flu bug, I'll be back on it soon. Running 1.5 miles easy now with the help of P90 and its conditioning! yes, i still am in love with running!!!

New cakes will be posted on my cake blog which you can access to the right.

I have missed everyone and am dying to catch up on everyone's blogs!!!

X's and O's

Jasara

M.I.A.

its been a while. yes. the job has freed the blogger site (for now).
so much to update!

miss u all! be back tonight!

*big grins*

x's and o's