Sunday, December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Wishing everyone the best and a holiday season full of blessings this year!

Remember, its not about what was under your tree but who was around it!

~Jasara

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Holiday giveaway from Slice of Delight! Holiday goodies!

Slice of Delight (my cake business) is holding a holiday giveaway where you can enter to win a shipment of Holiday Goodies!




Heres what you have to do:



Link up below!



Follow this blog and leave me a comment letting me know what holiday treat you look forward to most this holiday season.



Post this giveaway in your blog and share the sweetness!







One entry per person. The winner will be selected by random.org.



Good Luck! The giveaway is open to U.S. residents, and will run until Sunday 12/19/10 in order to ship out the Delightful Treats in time for Christmas!

Friday, December 3, 2010

how i miss thee

I fell away... from my journey and got caught up in life. No yoga, no running, no meditating, no working out, just... work, baking, kids, life. I forgot about one important person. me.

Now just a few months, weeks, or what have you later, I am finding myself yearning and missing certain things that brought me simple happiness.

Blogging and the blogger friends I made. Expressing, venting, chatting, sharing, empathizing, laughing, supporting... amongst strangers who were becoming friends. Missed.

Yoga. Meditation. hand in hand. Free, spirit, peace, clarity, present, healthy, feel-good. Missed.

Running. fulfilled, joy, strength, determination, goals, sweat, breath. Missed.

I feel so out of wack from the simplicity of things I used to enjoy.

Time to return.

Hello blog, friends, readers if any remain... you have been missed!

~jasara

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

6 weeks... feels like 6 months

HI!

I swear, I was just thinking the last few days, by the time I get to post in my blog, I'll have to say, "was it really last year!"

Thank God I got the motivation and time to squeeze in a blog session today.
Between the boys starting school and the longer than normal days with drop offs and picking up and homework, and dinner... baking when I have cakes due, sporting events, crazy weekend schedules and dealing with insomnia now, I have ignored my lil blog.

But its never forgotten!

Still trying to smooth out our weekdays with school. the youngest two have thee hardest time adjusting and some nights sleep from the moment they are home! I on the other hand, cant seem to stay asleep at night. sometimes up at 330, 430... mostly 530 but wide awake like i never slept. crazy.

But I am looking forward to our family trip in 2 weeks! Chi-town!!! its been a year and I cant wait to return, this time, my boys will be with us and its going to be sooo exciting to have them come along!

Here where I live, we also had a week of late summer weather! It was over 100 and we went from preparing for boots and scarves and Pumpkin Spice Lattes to shorts and flip flops and shades! Talk about mental confusion!
But now, again, its cooling off, grey skies, chilly winds and I'm ready for it to stay. I baked up a storm this past weekend after my most recent cake order cancelled. Pumpkin spice cupcakes with cream cheese swirl baked in. Pumpkin spice cupcakes in the shapes of leaves and pumpkins and regular ones with cream cheese frosting, pumpkin spice oatmeal cookies and red velvet cookies! Sugar high? nah, just my love of baking and the fall season!

Everyone loves me this time of year lol, I get requests for Pecan Tassies, Almond Crescents, Rum balls, Pumpkin Spice Oat cookies, Candied yams, sweet potato souffle... and the list goes on.

So glad I get to catch up on every ones blog and post one of my own! hopefully i get another one in this month! maybe after my trip!

X's and O's
Jasara

Monday, August 30, 2010

31. Twins. Catch up.

I really thought I'd be able to post on my birthday... TWO WEEKS AGO! lol. OK almost two weeks but still. Oh well, life gets funny like that sometimes.
On August 19th, I hit 31. And I'm OK with 31 :) I am embracing all that my 30s has to offer as I realize this is the decade when I enter true woman hood. when I find myself. when I truly love and appreciate. So I can finally say I'm happy to be in my 30's. Still rather scary because life is moving way  too fast these days. like someone has us on fast forward and we think its the norm.Its time to slow down. enjoy each day. Cherish each moment, cos when that moments gone, we can never get it back!

Twins. My close friend had twins 1 weeks exactly after my birthday. Janessa and Jianna. They are absolutely adorable. weighing in at 5lb 10oz and 5lb 13oz, 18 and 18.5inches long. Keep in mind, mom and dad are both 6ft and 6'1. they have loooong legs, fingers and toes! lol I am in love with them! can you tell?!

And so I'm catching up with the events of the past 12 days. On my birthday, i worked. boo. lol . but Friday, I went to the City and spent the day eating schnitzel for the first time. Mind you, finding schnitzel on the west coast is a task in itself! But I did cross thee best and really only schnitzel spot in the northern California area! SCORE!!! The also have BOOT BEER!!! I only got the Pint but the big glass is off da hook big! lol and for $12 bucks for the pint... I thought that was a deal!!!

We then went to Union Square and Macy's (with the cheesecake factory on the roof!) did a lil window shopping even tho i didn't make it to Tiffany's! Then we headed to Cups and Cakes Bakery. I found this lil shop on Yelp and it was one of the 3 i want to visit! A tiny lil starter shop, very cute with its bold pink decor and boxes! Cupcakes were quite yummy too! I got a mini carrot, a peanut butter cup, German Chocolate, A red velvet with charred marshmallow atop and  double strawberry! didn't get pics cos they didn't last long but I'll post what i did get!

We then headed to the beach. Pacific ocean beach is my childhood beach! I love it and miss it there! We even saw a sea lion at the undertow! closer than the surfers in the water! After the beach, we headed to Polly Ann's Ice Cream... this is prob the only ice cream I will eat! been going here since I was knee high to a grasshopper! lol... I got Green Tea and Baileys Irish Creme. I know what a combo, but they were both amazingly good! Ever come to SF, make sure you hit up Polly Ann's on Noriega Ave in Frisco! Fresh made in house ice cream with flavors you cant even imagine!

After that, it was time to get home. I had to finish the cakes I was making for my birthday at the lounge Saturday night...

I'll continue in another post about that with pics... lets just say... started GREAT, ended no so great!


X's and O's
~Jasara

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

#PINT

Lets.... Shall we?








Monday, August 16, 2010

Miscellany Monday

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

1. distractions.
I am always distracted. Today, especially. Could it be because I'm at work selling cupcakes?
Could it be that Its my birthday week and I have cakes to plan?
Could it be that I just don't want to work? It is now 4:35pm with 25 more minutes
to go in my work day and I honestly can say, I have not done half of what I normally could do!
I'll just tell the boss I need a re-do. I'm sure she'll understand... right?

2. summer-less
Seems as thought mother nature forgot summer was due this year.
Maybe she's bipolar and forgot to take her meds.
Maybe she says screw you for not taking care of me by letting me wilt away as you
create a hole in the ozone layer and suffocate me with mass oil in my hydration station.
Maybe 2012 is upon us.
Either way, Summer, sorry I missed you. Please do show face next year. My birthday month
is not the same without you.

3. so bad, so good
Why is everything so bad for you soooo good.
why can all food just be equal and nourishing without drastically
contorting our bodies into shapes we wish them not to be.
Why can the saying go "A strawberry cupcake a day, keeps the doctor away"?
Why cant fresh french bread and toasted garlic in olive oil be on the top
of our food pyramid?
Why cant men get fat and carry the pregnancy weight and we just carry the baby?


Sorry due to my lack of concentration today, I cant go beyond 3! Yea, I know i so do not rock!

But don't let that stop you! Link up and post away!


its that time again...you know you like it!

Monday Minute

Yes, Its monday. Can you tell? And the co-host of the monday is.... Kimber!

1. If you could have plastic surgery, would you? And WHAT would you get done?
I would. I'd get a tuck on the tummy and a lil lipo a few other places

2. What laws have you broken? hmmm texting while driving but im better now, I fixdid it :) other than that,i'm an angel * hehe!

3. What is your quirkiest habit? I am constantly biting my bottom lip and commonly get kind-stranger-men tell me I have a sexy habit. when in reality, i'm probably contemplating on what to make for dinner or thinking " did i unplug the iron?"

4. If you only had 3 songs to listen to for the rest of your life, what would they be?

I dont want to miss a thing - Aerosmith

I gotta feeling - Black Eyed Peas

F*** You tonight - Notorious BIG

That way i can cover most events in life, (missing someone/death, party/fun, sexual/love)

5. How often do you have sex? Well, well, well... does it count if its with myself?!?! ;)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Just a minor delay...

In seeing Eat, Pray, Love on opening night... My sister has no babysitter til tomorrow night. Guess it all kinda works out, cause I still have to finish Indonesia!

This morning started off fantastic. Up early. Feeling refreshed. Ive been waiting to start yoga and meditation (thanks in part to the book, but it really gave me the boost to finally move into this) but I had 50 red velvet cupcakes to make and deliver today, so the past two days have been baking and reading. All I could fit it after my regular 9-5.

I'm also starting my new eating plan. Since I'm in such a funk with diets, dieting, the word diet, eating plan sounds... well... better :) healthier. I'm excited too. I just really in the end, want to be healthy. Fit. happy.
So, as i sit here at my desk fighting the craving for a chocolate bar... yes, an entire chocolate bar! I tell myself, "self, you don't need it". So I'll go make me some tea in a bit to calm my cravings!

I also have developed a killer headache that I'm convinced is slowly turning into a migraine as I type. slightly nauseous. slight light sensitivity. slightly annoyed that my day is not keeping on the up and up.

But  i have 2.5 more working hours until my FUN weekend starts!
Although tonight, I don't know what I will do... bake I guess! lol Still have yet to make those pink champagne cupcakes! The rest of the weekend will be crazy busy fun!

My middle son has his championship basketball game, then we will all head over to the San Jose Jazz Fest... then that evening meet up with the sista and watch EPL!
Sunday we are headed to church then to catch the early (aka cheaper) show of Despicable Me then if the weather proves to show us a real summer day, maybe the BEACH!

Let me pop some Advil now that I think about it, and Let the weekend/birthday week begin!

Have a lovely one!

X's and O's

~Jasara

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

just a quick update...

My son doesnt need surgery! WOOHOO!

Hernia still mild per surgeon, so we can wait it out til it gets worse... not that it sounds like a good idea but the risks to the surgery dont out weigh the benefits at this stage...

*relief*

Back to reading!  Hop everyone has a GREAT Hump-ty-Hump Day!

X's and O's

~Jasara

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

*NEW* post it note tuesday



in following of Michelle from Mommy Loves Stilettos who participated in her first #PINT (post it note tuesday) hosted by Supah Mommy (sorry dont know her name, just started following her blog and u should too!)






X's and O's
~Jasara

Eat, Pray, Love

So I have been reading Eat, Pray, Love for like forever it seems and I really REALLY wanted to be done by the time the movie came out and I know i can finish it (I'm currently in the early stages of India) but dedicating my time to the book and not the Internet has been a challenge!

Needless to say, this book has spoken to me in so many ways, I just want to slap it and shout 'shut the hell up! You too! '
One piece in particular has described something I have not been able to yet, have felt and questioned for so long... It is when Liz was in Italy and she was talking about sex and being lonely and teaching herself to learn to live with the lonely and how she looks back and has always been with a man since the age of 15 and she describes this in regards to having boundaries:

    "But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time - everything. If I love you, I will carry for you for all your pain, I will assume your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."

This was like a blow to my everything. If you truly knew what I had been through last year, and the revelation of self and worth and the constant questioning of who am I this was a large chunk of knowledge that I knew yet I didn't know. This describes me. Sad. But I own it. Acknowledgement is the first step in change.

Another funny quote from the book that I believe is also in the preview of the movie (which I have tried to avoid watching any part of the movie preview or anything related even the Oprah taping I still have saved on my DVR til I finish reading the book!!) hit home too...
 
  "I think maybe you always look like your men."

ROFLMSAO I am always the one to quote how people look like their dogs and here... all along... I have looked like my men! haha!

Thank God for self awareness!

So as I continue through this book, I am empathetic, happy, aware, conscious and open-minded. I am consoled knowing "I am not the only one out there." and knowing, this too, can change.

Hope I meet my goal by Friday!!

ps. My oldest may have to have surgery sooner than later, our trip to Urgent Care tonight will tell us just how soon. He's got a inguinal hernia :(

X's and O's

~Jasara

Monday, August 9, 2010

Monday Minute

So it seems, I have had Monday nights pretty free.... as my last postings are ... Monday Minutes.
Any who, glad it works out this way since I love the Monday Minute hosted by Ian (btw check out the new header... first impression was SPIIICAY! ) this weeks post is co hosted by Kendra from Baby Bits.

Check it out!!

Monday Minute



What was your "oh no, I'm turning into my Mom/Dad" moment?


When I realized that its pointless to buy "nice things". Having 3 boys who are boys to the fullest, I have yet to keep a complete dish set  or silverware set. Among other things that have been damaged, destroyed or mysteriously disappeared... i find it best to wait til they are all much older. Oh and the regularly stated "because I said so" always brings my parents to mind!



What current commercial do you find the most annoying/funny?

let me just say "does your man look like me no, can he smell like me yes"
lol sorry i think its quite entertaining!



If you could only eat one color food for the rest of your life what would it be?

hmmm. good question. assuming only foods that color were allowed, I'd have to say green. if vegans can survive on em, so can i. BUT if i had the option to dye my foods, i'd have to pick black only because almost everything can be dyed black! lol then my options would be limitless!! see thats that silver lining thing! lol



What is your current Facebook/Myspace/Twitter status?

Facebook: "First of all, I would like to make one thing quite clear. I never explain anything." - Mary Poppins



Myspace: i forgot i had myspace!


Twitter: Foursquare checkin at home  (back from 8/6 lol)



F, Marry, Kill from this list below. Women pick from the men, men pick from the women.



•Snookie (from Jersey Shore), Ellen DeGeneres, Betty White

•Regis Philbin, Justin Bieber, Perez Hilton



I would so do or 'F'  Regis aka Reege, he's got that old man swagger! lol

Kill Perez Hilton... anyone who is thinks he is prettier than I HAS to die! lol

and Marry Justin Bieber with a pre-nup cos since im older, i'm sure he will cheat and my pre-nup will allow me to divorce his lil annoying ass and still collect! :)
 
X's and O's
Jasara

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

So many posts so little time

seeing as how its almost 1am and I'm still fighting my insomnia {week #4} I'll try and shut some eye but first before I leave you all... I am a little late in posting since its technically now August 3rd...

August = A month long celebration of... My Birthday!!!! Yes, this is true!! So if ever you need a reason to celebrate, to sip some champagne, to go out to that nice restaurant, to dress up - just because, to sleep in, to let loose, to partake in happy hour, to have a shot, to make it a girls night  or a guys weekend... You now have a reason to party for the next 29 days!

LEO BABY!!!

Monday Minute

Its that time for my favorite Monday Minute from Ian's blog DDoR!
Monday Minute



This weeks co-host is Jenn from Brown Eyed Girl


Brown Eyed Girl Jenn


let the minute begin!

Describe your life in one word:

Unique

Is there something you wish you had learned how to do as a child?

I begin to type something then realize, I taught myself or for a period in time did learn.. flute, piano, dancing, drawing, cooking, baking, sports, languages... well I guess I wish I would have follow through more with learning another language completely. Im now wanting to learn french and Italian and its way more time consuming that I ever thought.



Who has been the biggest influence on your life?

My mom. She exhibits strength, faith, love, respect, honor, laughter, fun, comfort, triumph and friendship. Knowing I came from her genes, that I have some of this trait in me... makes me feel blessed beyond words.
She is an amazing woman.



What is your greatest dream/hope/aspiration?

To  see my boys become successful in life. Reach a level of TRUE happiness and know that they can do or be anything...



and finally...



Do you believe you have reached your potential? Why/why not?

I don't think anyone can reach their full potential... every day in life we learn something. In life we are consistently evolving of self. Death is when we have reached it, and I believe we are all here for a predetermined amount of time, God decides when our full potential is reached, when we've achieved our goal, duty, purpose. Though most may not like it, its all planned for a reason.

Miscellany Monday: Eek its been a whole week!!!

Just realized its been a week since I last posted! man, time flies when your having fun eh!?
So im catching up and posting like crazy!! Its been a minute since i've done this so... here we gooo!

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

Linking up from Carissa's blog @ lowercase letters by carissa graham
seriously, if you dont follow her blog, you are missing out!
ps. she just had her 2nd baby Sage who is unbelievably adorably cute and from her latest pic,
she looks amazing for being as she puts it "post partum" lol

ONE: Im half way through Eat Pray Love i wonder... is it a good thing or a bad thing to relate to so much
in the book?!!?
I'll post my thoughts in another post. :)

Ah-Ta-WOOOOO: This weekend i finally made it to my sons basketball game... did i mention they are undefeated?! He plays for the church league called U Inspire! Pretty awesome and yeah, he kicked some boo-tay! *proud mommy moment!* 16-15

THAAAAREEEEEEE: I just upgraded my phone! Super excited! Ive had my G1 for two years and after
my son (in trying to get my attention) tossed it to me and it magically
landing in my cup of cranberry juice, lost function in the back button :/
so I finally got my upgrade to the Samsung Galaxy S Vibrant model
*teck geek moment* and can I just say... I'm in LOVE!

FOUR: This weekend was also the art and wine festival! We went Sunday and i got my collectors glass
ate some good food, drank some great Italian wine and got some killer Hot Ginger grilling sauce that
i can soooo not wait to try out (so much that I went to the store and got 3 packs of different steaks to
try it on!!))  Pics to come, promise!!

FIVE! last but not least:  I'll be making my first rum cake this week!
Is your mouth watering yet!? I also made some red velvet cookie pies :)

they were gone the same night!

pss. i have the tootsie roll commerical in my head hence my counting off :)

X's and O's
~Jasara

Monday, July 26, 2010

Monday Minute!

Monday Minute

So glad I'm back to join in the fun!!
Monday Minute Time!



1. Who is your "what-if" person?
(What-if person being what if I married this person or am now in a relationship with "this" person)

I cant imagine being with anyone other than the man I have married. We have a long interesting story and although things in the current time are sketchy as the past almost 2 yrs have been more downs than ups, we have been together since 1997. I was 17. We married in 2005. He was my second real relationship. After all of this, Its hard to imagine the what if's cause I've learned that it will have not been any better necessairly with the next man, or an old flame or a crush. So I guess, I dont have a what if person... if that makes sense! lol




2. What is your nickname?

I have a few, depending on who you are in my life... and at what point in my life you met me!
Let me explain, I go by my middle name for the past 3 yrs now. Something that kinda happened once I moved to Sacramento. It was supposed to be my first name but my grandma said it was too close to my brothers name and people would confuse us o_O oooookay. So first LEGAL name is Sharifa. Its Swahili and means; Honorable and Noble. My middle name is Jasara meaning Pure at heart. So those who know me as Sharifa have nick names from Rif (thanks to "Cheech" from work, this is what  most call me at the J.O.B), Rifa (haha, i'm sure you can imagine the conotations along with this one!) Rif-dog ( which was what the husband typically calls me ) and for those who know me as Jasara... well Jay, Jazzie and Jaas have all come into play. And ofcourse, Mom by my kiddos. :)





3. If you could choose how you died, how would you like to die?

I used to cry at night because I didnt want my  mom to die. I didnt want to die. So back when I was 7 or 8, I decided, I didnt want to die, or have anyone die I want the world to end and me be with my family. I still feel the same today, especially with all the talk of End Times. But with my faith, death is no longer scary. I just know I dont want to suffer, be in pain, I especially dont want my boys or family to see me suffer. So if I have to choose peacefully, in my sleep.





4. If you could have named yourself, which name would you have picked?

 I grew up hating my name! No one could pronounce it, it was different, I got called names and it confused people even more because they could also never guess my nationality! But now, I love my name. Im happy my parents choose it.



5. Who were you named after or for what reason did your parents choose your name?

I was named from a book of African Names. My mom wanted something different, beautiful and with meaning. My brothers name was also choosed from the same book. His name is Jafari. My sister got a scandanavian name, named after a friend of my mom who had a daughter that same year. She reversed the names to Anika Krista.

ok, i so went beyond the original question! lol


Want to participate in Monday Minute? Follow Ian's blog and link up! or.. just follow Ian's blog because Its just that worth it!

Ps. I'm off work today! WOOT WOOT!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Dream a little dream...

Nothing happens unless first we dream. - Carl Sandburg

I sit here watching in awe, DC Cupcakes on TLC and I can practically feel the joy and passion radiation through the TV and through me! How I wish that was me, in my own cute little bake shop, with my original cake recipes and my own designer boxes. *sigh*

Sometimes, I feel like all my ambition, passion, desire will only go as far as my dream. I sometimes wonder, what is it that they have, that I don't? What was the break they got, the "A-HA" moment that gave them the realization of "THAT is how I will make it happen". I wonder... When will it hit me?

I have come to a recent fascination with cupcakes, as I also want to expand my business to have an entire cupcake line. I want to buy a mobile food truck and sell fresh baked cupcakes out of it. I want a cute little shop on a corner with big windows and a second floor for my office and mini studio for nights I am pulling all nighters from big orders. I want a kitchen to cook in with 10 ovens where one side opens to the test kitchen and the other to the decorating kitchen.

I dream big. Yes. I want grand things. I want the best cakes, cupcakes, sculpted cakes. I want lines around the block, I want to be featured in Martha Stewart, Food and Wine, Saveur, Gourmet Magazine, and especially Bon Appetit :)

But even if I don't have the notoriety, the food network status, or the second floor office mini studio... I just want to do what I love with my own business. I want to bake, decorate, create.

Will my time come? Will my dream come true?

X's and O's

Thursday, July 22, 2010

FINALLY, Ive started reading....

Eat, Pray, Love. Yes, I know. I'm so behind. While many are on The Help or Women, Food and God , Best Friends Forever and so on...

I officially started last night and read 34pages before forcing myself to go to sleep at 1130!

I have been glancing over at it  here at work on my desk waiting to finish these reports so in between calls I can read!!! I love a good addicting book!

I am still reading The Power of Now but it for me is more of a book of study. practice. learning. So I'll continue to dabble when I can and absorb truly the meaning Eckhart is relaying.

The next book, well along with the three I mentioned above, is A New Earth. Also, since its been a year since my most FAVORITE author has passed, I want to get the last two novels by E.Lynn  Harris. And the book written in his honor by 3 authors.

All this reading inspires me to write... I love to write. Poetry that is. I express myself through my words better than I can speaking them to you.

on another note... this is my Friday! I was actually supposed to be off today but my PTO decided I had to come in! lol

its OK, I'm saving up for our family trip to Chicago in October along with the time off I have for my birthday next month.

But tomorrow, is a special day... my middle son turns 11!!! Evan is eleven!! :) we are having a bowling party for him on Sunday!small, simple and sweet! I'll be starting his cake decorations tonight as Sunday, I am the assistant to my sister for her State Dental Hygiene Boards test! Not thrilled to sit for the entire day in SF with no car but hey, its all in the name of sisterly love right?!

So... back to reading!

ps. how many will see the movie, Eat Pray Love when it comes out?!?!


X's and O's

~Jasara

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I despise the underwire!!!

Yes, under WIRE not WARE!
Who in the heck invented the under wire for a bra and why??

sorry for any fellas reading this but I have to vent! LOL

Am I the only one with the problem?? I see a cute bra. I'm in need of a new bra. What ever the case, I buy the new bra...

After one wash, out pokes the wire. I really try to avoid buying the wire kind just for this reason. And what do I do... tuck it back in of course. Why? idk, guess I think its really going to stay there...

5min after putting it on I notice
A. I have some new serious cleavage from the wires already half way out or B. I am painfully poked in my sternum. Seriously?? after a losing battle, I usually rip em out if I don't find em in the dryer.

am I the only one who experiences this??!!!

I'm thinking... this had to have been man made!

Happy Hump Day readers!!

X's and O's

~Jasara

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Live your best life.

For a while now, I have been on a  mission. Actually, its been 4 years since this journey started. Four years ago, I didn't know what happiness was, I just knew I wanted it. That may not make sense to most. Don't get me wrong, I have experienced happiness. Different events in my life, that have held true happiness in my heart, but after 10 years, I realized, my whole life, I had been living for everyone else. Not self. Not that living for others is wrong because, I would give up all for my children. More so for family, friends, work... always feeling like I had to live up to be who they  thought I was or wanted me to be.

Funny, because over the past 4years, just when I think I know what happiness is to me, I learn its more than I know. I've now come to realize, happiness is a consistent thing one has to build on. Every few months through this journey, I find something new, experience something, read something that gives me that "Ah Ha" this is  even better than what I knew before!

I must admit, the PTSD class I took last year was my big "360" in my life. I was finally able to feel like, for once, I had control of my life. The chains were broken and I have not gone back since. Finding self, Loving self, prioritizing the most important things in my life and learning to say NO. Choosing who my real friends are, who are just acquaintances, balancing work and home, learning to run a business. PATIENCE! Even more than I have as a mother!

Another aspect, BALANCE. There is nothing like mentally cleaning house. Taking time for self, managing work, kids, home, friends, family. I found that I don't have to be everywhere doing everything! Although  the perfectionist side of me wants to, I learn to let go, say no, reschedule and make time for things I put off. Balance means choices. I have the choice to not answer my cell or even pick it up to check text messages. I  have the  choice to make a kid friendly quick dinner and not slave over the stove for 3 hrs after a long work day. I have the choice to come home and take an hour nap because I'm exhausted instead of pushing thru the evening. These things help create balance for me. I can finally say... "It's OK" .

Reducing stress, balance, patience, saying no to others more and yes to me, loving self, seeking God, surrounding myself with good people, working at achieving my dream, having inner peace and letting go of the past and the resentment... these things are enabling me to experience new levels of happiness. New experiences of joy rising. Living my best life.

Initially started the blog thinking I would document my journey through becoming a baker, pastry artist, cake designer... and now, I have no direction with it. Life sometimes has its own plans, its us that get in the way of the master plan of our life, tyring to override it and make our own way. Sometimes, Its best to stop trying to force life, and just live life.

X's and O's

Jasara

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Vegas Pics!

Ok, another quick post!!! I have some pics! :)






rollin to the airport


3 hr airport delay thanks to the infamous SF fog


View from the room


The room
(cant find my bathroom palace pic but just imagine jet tub 3 ft deep, separate glass door standing shower, granite and marble floor, sink, sitting area, vanity area... a girls perfect bathroom vision!)


Got free drink vouchers at the Stripper Bar after the show...
pole posing!

me, animated :)


more stripper bar fun


in line at the V Theater at Planet Hollywood watching the mini water show
(stripper bar behind!!!)

Same pic, camera app fun on 2nd :)
Waiting at the Bellagio Pool Cafe for breakfast


A Fat tire Happy hour
buy one get one free... catch; you got em all at once!


Endive, apple and walnut salad at Serendipity
Totally missed out on the frozen hot chocolate and fried oreos

but, I got this!


*perks for eating at the bar:
ME:  is that a mojito your making??

'tender: Yup

ME: ooh, what kind is that one?

'tender: Blueberry Pomegranate, more on the sweeter side

ME: well , every mojito I've had was YUK!

'tender: That's cos no one really knows how to make em and if they do
they are simply too lazy to make em right...
*breaks into explanation as to why bartenders hate making them and purposely make em nasty*

'tender: I bet you I can make you a mojito fan

ME:  eeeeyyyyyy don't know.. I've had a few and I honestly hate em

'tender: (to boss) Shall I make a believer

BOSS: I don't know, I'm not a mojito fan either but hey what the heck.. maybe you  can

'tender: You game?

ME: *thinking FREE alcohol* heck yeah, bring it

as his mixes me up a strawberry mojito, he explains how to make it correctly
explains how the flavors emulsify...
as I prepare for the worst..

'tender: OK.. here you go... tell me what you think

ME: *sip, swirl, swallow*

ME: *sip, sip, sip*

ME: hawt damn! that is one delish mojito!!! Not one flavor is too overpowering
they hit perfectly on my palatte. YUMMMM!

BOSS: well??

ME: I am a believer. :)

BOSS: WOW!! im not convinced tho, Ill stick to my scotch.

'tender: see, what I tell you. haven't lost that challenge yet!

*'tender got BIG tip from me that day!!*


And that's all I can show you because... the rest, I'd have to kill you if you saw them!
lol as they say, what happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas!

ps. it is now 104am... see what I mean??!! no, see my previous post! :) GOOD NIGHT!




What a week

Vacation is such a wonderful thing! Relaxation, fun, depending on the season ... sun, traveling, laughing, smiles, good times, family, friends....

And yet, Vacation can be so cruel. Short. Ending when it seemed like it just started. Financially broken. Late nights. Sleeping in. Returning back to work.

lol , I have been back from my Vegas vacation for geeeeze, (had to really REALLY think about it) 3 weeks!!! (double checks calendar) yes... 3 weeks... and my sleep schedule is STILL off! As is my workout schedule and motivation to do anything really. Work? Psshhhh, I spend my morning B.S'in on text, FB, Yahoo, IM, coffee, gossip, zoning... lol man its so hard to recover from vacation!!!

But I am determined to get there. Its almost midnight, and Ive been telling myself for an hour now, Get to bed!!! Tired.. yes but not enough to crawl my butt under the sheets! I keep saying to self...Self, how are you going to get up at 6am to run, exactly?? You can barely get up to get ready for work!

I swear, there is some determination in there somewhere... i think its buried under the poolside memories, right next to the Panera Bread breakfast sammich.. mmm that bread was off the CHAIN! yum..
prob explains my weight plateau. Seems to climb up and hang there longer and longer before dropping back down ... *swears its just that time of month... everyday for the past 2 months* yeah.. that's it. YUP!

All jokes aside, I realize I do way to much in my daily life. Balance. Hard to obtain. Hard to maintain.

If I could get everything done everyday, I'd be one damn happy perfectionist camper! lol

Work a full time job, cook breakfast for the boys before work, cook dinner after work, bake and decorate cakes, BLOG, FB, tweet, Check in on my foursquare accurately, cake research, read up on running a small business, update my website, work on my logo, write poems, spend family time with the boys - movies, games, outdoor time, work out, run, culinary classes or school (part time of course!lol) , basketball games, football training camp, dance lessons,and clean(purposely left that for the end)

well.... *scratches head* I can sleep when I'm dead right?!

So yeah, balance. Realize, I cant do it all... I CAN pick days to do certain things and work it that way.
Honestly, I think I have ADD! lol makes sense tho, my oldest was diagnosed with ADHD. My dad always told me i should have been born with a second set of arms and hands because I always try to do too much.
My friends have fondly referred to me as "superwoman". Most heard comment about my life from those who know me " I don't know how you do it!"

Neither do I, I just - do.

:)

Next post, I'll have to tell you about my FIRST NY Yankee game!!! Wish I got pics tho :( phone has no flash on the cam and it was a night game. either way, GO YANKEES!

X's and O's

Jasara

Thursday, July 15, 2010

my oh my!

how time does fly!

I have been so busy and frankly, avoiding social networks and outlets because i have just that much to do! i had to cut corners somewhere and my poor blog, you have suffered. But I felt compelled to visit as today has been an off day at work with computer problems and end of the week laziness all together!

So much to update.. but lets just keep it simple. took 6weeks off from cake decorating and orders. Was completely burnt. Got refreshed and felt good to not have the pressure i put on myself, in a small apartment, with limited time, money and necessities to perform to the level I desire.

Went to Vegas for almost a week which was FAB! Stayed at the Bellagio! LOVED it! Wish i was there now! lol

Spending more family time. Basketball games and family outings  has been great!

started cakes back up again 2 weeks ago and so far, got screwed on one! I am hoping this is not the trend because that will require me to force change on my ordering policies and i don't want to be a grouchy business woman!

Updating the website slowly but surly and I'm loving how its all coming together! Taking the time to educate self of website rules! Color palettes and have the help of a great friend who has also guided me through with advice and ideas!

Chicago is not happening... at least for now. Cant find a job.  What else is new for this economy tho!
I'm trying to stay positive and am looking into taking a few local classes once i get back on mental track with handling cake orders and managing a full time job and family. I tell ya the break was NICE! lol

ummmmm Oh i started P90x and love  it tho i have slacked since getting some flu bug, I'll be back on it soon. Running 1.5 miles easy now with the help of P90 and its conditioning! yes, i still am in love with running!!!

New cakes will be posted on my cake blog which you can access to the right.

I have missed everyone and am dying to catch up on everyone's blogs!!!

X's and O's

Jasara

Thursday, July 1, 2010

M.I.A.

its been a while. yes. the job has freed the blogger site (for now).
so much to update!

miss u all! be back tonight!

*big grins*

x's and o's

Friday, May 28, 2010

just a quick note

since i know i have been MIA.
I believe i said before that my job has restricted access to blogger.. totally sucks.
I am training new hires at work so no net book time.
Im also taking an online social break from everything it seems... twitter, fb, IM, texting, blogger...
sometimes, its necessary to remove ones self from the social scene realm and bring ones mental back into
the physical reality...
and I dearly miss you, my lovely blog, but when life becomes chaotic, one must regain the sanity before it leaves completely.

So im here, yet im not "here".

I've also been getting daily severe migraines every evening and they basically wipe me out. Not sure what has triggered these but im ready to call the docs and run some tests or something esp when the meds dont touch the pain. :(

Ive also found that my cousin has lost her baby and right now, im surrounded by lots of pregnant people. co workers, half of my cousins, friends, online friends... so its pretty  heart breaking when someone close has been told there is no heartbeat in a much anticipated blessing.

And what is up with this weather?!?! I dont know about everyone else in blogger land but we have rain every week, and cool sunny days on weekends.. today, thunder showers. Is mother nature bipolar? Did she forget to take her meds? Did someone cancel summer and I missed the news flash?!?! Seriously, Im ready for hot, summer days. please!

I am looking forward to this weekend tho, supposed to be nice, up to the 80's by mid next week, and I'm bbq'ing with family and friends at a lake far enough to be away from home but close enough to not have to pack like it. I will def blog about this weekend! :)

Wishing all my fellow bloggers well,

X's and O's

~Jasara

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Experimenting with new recipes...

Is good and bad all at the same time! Good because I can expand palates, create yummy masterpieces and indulge in ooey gooey goodness... Bad because I can indulge in ooey gooey goodness! lol Trying to loose weight and get into shape while sampling sweets basically can be pointless. I am trying to be careful and mindful of how much i taste... *smirk* but it definitely helps that I have taste testers to confirm, critique and indulge with me!

This week, I'm tackling Peanut Butter Cup-Cakes and Salted Caramel Cupcakes.
I didn't have the right salt for the Salted Caramel but the kosher salt gave a decent impression of what its supposed to taste like. I think I will make the frosting a bit more camramely and use a less chocolaty cake.. maybe a milk chocolate vs. the chocolate fudge recipe I used. oooh,maybe put caramel bits in the cake itself..or a caramel gooey center! hmmm so many options.
The Peanut Butter Cup-Cakes are the same chocolate fudge cake with a peanut butter frosting and a drizzle of chocolate ganache and sprinkled with salted chopped peanuts. My first attempt wasn't so great, used the peanut butter chips to melt inside, didn't melt and got hard once cooled, melted the chips with a little heavy cream and butter to make a ganache like frosting and it was good but I couldnt use too much because it was so rich (pic below). But the final recipe...OH man, talk about eating a Reese's peanut butter cup in the cake version! It was perfect! Oh YUMMMMM!


Here are some pics below of the final creations :)

***Oh andSPECIAL thanks to my brothers girlfriend (sista/future sista in law/the bestest) BEVERLY for hookin up the AWESOME new apron!!CUPCAKES, how appropriate!!!


rockin da cupcapron ;)


love my kitchen aid

blurry baker

gotta scrape the sides down




chocolaty yumminess!




1st try at Peanut Butter Cup-Cake

and the inside...




see how the chips sank to the bottom :/


second attempt with PB frosting, chocolate ganache
and salted peanuts!!


salted caramel cupcake with caramel drizzle and kosher salt



Trio for the week!
Salted Caramel, Peanut Butter Cup-Cake and Red Velvet

And check back tomorrow for a special Guest Post!!!

X's and Sweet O's

~Jasara

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Chicken and Black Bean 'Dillas

As I said before... Here's the recipe for these yummy quesadillas!

2 large chicken breasts, cooked and shredded
1/2 onion, diced
1 green bell pepper (and red, yellow, orange if you want) diced
1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
1 small can of green (or red) enchilada sauce
1/4 Cup of Sour Cream
Garlic and parsley seasoning, salt free, to taste
Chili Powder to taste
Shredded Cheese (any good melting cheese of preference)
Soft Taco or Gordita size Tortillas (flour, spinach, tomato, whole grain what ever your pleasure!)

In a large pan over medium-high heat, spray pan with cooking spray and saute the onions and peppers until soft. Add drained and rinsed Black beans. Reduce heat to Medium. Add Garlic/Parsley and Chili Powder seasoning and cook 3-5 minutes. Add Chicken and 1/4 - 1/3 cup of enchilada sauce. Reduce heat to Low-Medium  and add sour cream. Mix Well. If this is too thick you can add water to desired consistency.

Remove From heat.

In smaller skillet over medium heat, spray with cooking oil. Sprinkle 2 Tbsp of shredded cheese on 1/2 tortilla. Spoon chicken filling over cheese (approx 1/4 cup). Fold tortilla over and place in skillet and heat until crispy and light brown flipping once. Approx 1-2 min on each side. Remove from skillet and let set.
Cut into wedges.

You can dip these in guacamole, sour cream, salsa or eat them as they are.

Variation: in a 3 inch deep round baking dish, spray lightly with cooking spray and layer corn tortillas, chicken mixture and shredded cheese and additional enchilada sauce until you've reached the top,.
Top off with enchilada sauce and shredded cheese and bake at 350 for 15-20 min or until cheese is melted and bubbly.

Enjoy!


work it on out!

Today, I almost ran a mile straight. I know, not a big feat for most but for me... I have not ran in a VERY lonng time. I took a 2 min break due to a cramp just below my rib... then ran the rest of the way back to work totaling 1.11 miles. So now im feelin =D supa cheeezy! lol

Ill get some weight training and balance ball in tonight too. Before I bake. I have been trying to bake these Salted Carmel Cupcakes (and while I'm at it, Ima make some Peanut Butter Cup Cupcakes too!!) so I can continue to taste some new creations to be added to my new slightly secret but not for long expansion to Slice of Delight.

****************************************************************************************


****You DO know who MONKEY is right???****

Pleas tell me Oh faithfull few blog readers you clicked the link
and read the heartbreaking story of
fellow blogger Michelle and her
beautiful little 16 month old daughter
who was recently diagnosed with
Neuroblastoma...


Thanks to Ian for putting this out here in blogland for all of us to read, pray and support
a fellow; blogger, mother, parent, woman, human being...

**************************************************

What a lovely sidetrack huh?! So yeah, workouts, baking, I still need to read up on my book so I can move on to Eat, Pray, Love... think i need to give self a deadline. :)

Im also looking into licensing, commerical property, mobile food vending, new web design
still working on a logo, looking into some small biz classes...
oh and a business plan. Hear those things are helpful. lol

Seriously, Im happy to be breaking away from the demands and time of sculpted cake
to lay some more brick and build up my passion.

Anywho... forgot i have some random mobile pics I wanted to post.. along with last nights yummie
dinner!! Chicken and black bean quesadillas!! Recipe to follow!

Enjoy and Please come back FRIDAY for a SPECIALblog post!!!


reminds me of Burning Man (Reno, Nv) google it! lol


Red Velvets from last weekend


Sunrise outside of my apartment  at 6:11am


another shot of sunrise Mothers Day Weekend


Chicken and Black Bean Quesadillas!!
Ill post recipe tonight!

X's & O's :)