I'm glad I waited until after I worked out to post in my blog today, my anger would have been unmistakable earlier had this post occurred this morning.
I haven't been the happiest of people since reading that article. Then having people tell me, they told me so, or "it's for the best".
GEEEEE, THANKS FOR THE FAITH AND ENCOURAGEMENT!
I've felt even worse,
like having a best friend move away or
losing your job or
losing the love of your life.
But it hurts more...
The thought of not being able
to live out my dream
to do what I love
I feel crushed. I feel lost.
What do I do now? Pursue it with the risk of not being successful
and putting myself and family in debt?
Not pursue it and try and do, and learn and struggle
on my own?
Just give up on the dream...??
It has demolished the High mountain I was on.
I try and think, am I over reacting?
Should I just give it some time?
I don't know. Right now, in this moment,
I don't want to even look at my application.
Search for another scholarship.
I feel defeated. So many out there talked bad on me
and my decision. Said I was all talk, "she wont make it"
or just didn't want me to move and attempt to
live my dream.
Your still young. Wait 10 years...
10 years? 10 years!!!
That's exactly why I have shut everyone out.
I have no real friends or support where I'm at.
Just judgements and non believers.
Why are so many so quick
to jump on the
never on the
or at least
I can not imagine life with out flour, sugar, eggs and butter.
They are my purpose.
They are niche into the fibers of my being.
I hate being down and blue.
I know I will come out of my funk soon.
But I'll be full of
No longer will I be
For the few friends that know my sorrows and have made me smile, thank you. My heart warms knowing I do have a few special somebodies out there that do care. Do believe. :)